5 Simple Ways to Improve Self-Esteem

Many times, self-doubt shows up in strange ways. Sometimes it’s second-guessing a decision you already made. Or downplaying something you worked hard for. Sometimes it’s just that quiet feeling that you’re not meeting expectations, but you’re not even sure who you’re trying to prove yourself to.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Self-esteem isn’t about constant confidence or loving yourself all the time. It’s more like learning how to treat yourself with basic respect, especially when it feels hard. And like most things, it’s a skill you can build over time.

Here are five simple ways to start.

1. Notice how you talk to yourself

You don’t have to be positive all the time, but if most of your inner self-talk sounds harsh or hopeless, it’s going to eventually undermine you. “I should feel better,” or “I should be doing more,” might seem like passing thoughts, but they add up.

Try this:
When you catch a critical thought, pause.
Ask:

• Is this actually true?

• Would I say this to someone I care about?

• Would I be friends with someone who says this to me?

If not, reword it. It doesn’t need to be fake or overly optimistic. Just fair or neutral.

“I should feel better.” might become “Even though I don’t feel better yet, I eventually will”.

Even the smallest shift matters.

 2. Give yourself credit—more often than you think is necessary

Most people wait until a big milestone to feel proud. But the everyday stuff counts, too. Finished a task you were dreading? Got through a hard day without giving up? That deserves acknowledgement.

What helps:

• Start a “done” list instead of a to-do list

• Write down three things you did well today

• Say it out loud: “That was hard, and I did it anyway.”

At first, it might feel awkward, and that’s okay. Just keep doing it anyway.

 3. Set one boundary this week

This might feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to saying yes by default. But boundaries are one of the simplest ways to show yourself that you matter.

It can be small:

• “I won’t answer emails after 7 p.m.”

• “I’m going to say ‘Yes’ to myself”.

• “I’m not up for that right now.”

• “I need to reschedule.”

You don’t have to explain yourself. The goal isn’t to control how others respond, it’s to stop neglecting yourself to avoid discomfort.

 4. Pay attention to who you're around

Some people leave you feeling drained after spending time with them. Others leave you feeling like yourself again. The difference isn’t always obvious right away, but over time, it shapes how you feel about yourself.

Try this:

• Think about who energizes you vs. who drains you

• Make space for the people who feel easy to be around

• Give yourself permission to take breaks from people who don’t

This isn’t about cutting people off. It’s about being more intentional with your time and energy.

 5. Be kinder to yourself when things go wrong

We all mess up. We fall short, get overwhelmed, and make bad choices. That’s part of being human. What matters is how you treat yourself in those moments.

Instead of:
“I can’t believe I did that. What’s wrong with me?”

Try:
“That didn’t go the way I wanted. What can I learn from it?”

One helpful question:
“What would I say to a friend if they were in this situation?”

Then say it to yourself. Even if it feels a little strange.

 Final thought

Self-esteem isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about building a relationship with yourself that feels steady, even when things aren’t going well. You don’t need to be more impressive. You don’t need to prove anything.

Just start with treating yourself like you matter.

Because you do.